unfortunately, we can’t help you with the first part of that question: you’ll have to wage your own battles with aunt frances and grandma helen over the seating arrangements. as a bride yourself, you will find that establishing your bridesmaids’ responsibilities up front is the most effective way to be on top of everything. in victorian wedding photographs, for example, it can take quite a bit of inspection to pick out the bride and groom from among the other members of the bridal party! in general, formal weddings have a half dozen or more bridesmaids in addition to the maid of honor (it could be as many as a dozen, but that is very rare). the bridesmaids may consult you on the theme of the party and they will look to you for the guest list, so be prepared! you should be able to rely on your bridesmaids to reduce your stress by aiding in a wide range of detail work.
your bridesmaids will be a central part of the wedding rehearsal as you go through the steps to ensure smooth sailing on your wedding day. if you’re uncomfortable about preparing your bridesmaids for the expense (especially if they’ve never been in a wedding and aren’t aware that they have to pay for the dress), you can gently explain the tradition. brides generally ask bridesmaids to buy shoes in the same color as the dress and at a similar, if not identical, heel height. remember: it is possible for everyone to be happy with her dress as long as you keep in mind that everyone wants to look good and feel comfortable. it is important to scrutinize the differences in quality among the dresses you look at and try on. you should ask yourself if the manufacturer you are looking at carries a full range of colors, dress linings for comfort, attractive styles that work with your wedding gown and any other questions that are of importance to you and your bridesmaids.
plan to sit down and have a conversation as soon as possible. being a bridesmaid or maid of honor is a large financial and time commitment, so honesty is the best policy during this conversation. this is a great opportunity to have a night in with the other members of the bridal party. order some of the bride’s favorite take-out, wear your comfiest pjs, uncork a bottle of wine, and pin away. if you’re not in close proximity to one another, host a virtual pinning night and screen-share the pinterest board as you add to it.
establish yourself as the point of contact for questions during the planning process and on the wedding day. picture this: it’s the morning of the wedding and the photographer/videographer team arrives just as you gift the bride with your notes. make sure there’s plenty of tissues nearby. photographers usually start their day by snapping photos of these items, and gathering them can be stressful if left until the morning of the wedding. throughout the day, snap lots of photos and videos even if the couple has a professional team doing so.
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