if you’re ready to work on your relationship, get the support and guidance of a couples counselor on regain. if you are considering counseling after an affair, the most important thing to do to prepare is for both of you to commit to at least a handful of visits—this ups your chances of success in counseling. the more that a person can feel that their life is predictable and makes sense the more they will be able to roll up their sleeves and get to work on starting the recovery process. if a couples therapist sees this kind of overly-developed independence, they can coach that partner on the value of letting their person “do” for them. again, a couples therapist can educate the couple on the destructiveness of the problem at hand and help them build a more solid and healthy pattern. if you have had an affair occur in your relationship and you are looking for help, the easiest place to start is with an online directory for a marriage counselor.
if addictions are part of the picture it’s important to have a therapist who is well-trained in these areas so that they can be properly addressed. with the help of a qualified couples counselor, the odds are in your favor. get the support and guidance of a regain couples counselor. (2006) the traumatic nature of disclosure for wives of sexual addicts, sexual addiction & compulsivity, 13(2-3):247-267 tatkin, s. (2018) we do: saying yes to a relationship of depth, true connection, and enduring love. outcomes of couples with infidelity in a community-based sample of couple therapy. infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: optimism in the face of betrayal.
the “how” part is a bit more complex, but relationship experts have weighed in on the matter with their own experiences that show that cheating doesn’t have to be the relationship-ending event that many imagine. “‘if you, my life partner, are not the person i thought you were, and our marriage is a lie, then who am i?’ you ask.” also difficult to confront is what the non-cheating partner’s role was in the cheating partner’s behavior. and that distinction is important.” perel says that the cheating partner needs to “hold vigil” for what the relationship was before the infidelity in order to relieve the non-cheating partner from obsessing about what may have gone wrong in the relationship to lead to the event.
both couples counseling and individual counseling are important to pursue in the wake of an affair. it might take time, patience, and recommitment, but it is possible to come out on the other side, often even stronger than before. melissa stanger, lmsw is a writer and licensed therapist practicing in new york city.
studies show that if the affair is revealed before therapy rather than being discovered during sessions, the couple improves more through with affair recovery, jennifer meyer, an lpc in private practice in fort collins, colorado, finds it helpful to have couples write down their both couples counseling and individual counseling are important to pursue in the wake of an affair. getting a neutral third party’s, .
seek couples therapy, not just individual counseling. trust is an obvious issue and is vital to regain. but if both partners are committed to reconciling the when working with infidelity therapists often use an integrative approach best suited to the couple. there are a number of modalities such as experiential and counseling after an affair is critical. without it, people frequently stay stuck in a perpetrator/victim mentality, .
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