what is working for you and your partner? i got married the first time because i was raised catholic and that’s what you were supposed to do. you are absolutely not going to be gaga over each other every single day for the rest of your lives, and all this ‘happily ever after’ bullshit is just setting people up for failure. we all know that guy (or girl) who dropped out of school, sold their car, and spent the money to elope on the beaches of tahiti. every day you wake up and decide to love your partner and your life—the good, the bad and the ugly. and the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another. because without that self-respect, you will not feel worthy of the respect afforded by your partner—you will be unwilling to accept it and you will find ways to undermine it. a couple years ago, i discovered that i was answering many of these relationship emails with the same response: “take this email you just sent to me, print it out, and show it to your partner. understand that it is up to you to make yourself happy, it is not the job of your spouse. have the courage to be who you are, and most importantly, let your partner be who they are. the answer comes from something hundreds and hundreds of successful couples said in their emails: be sure you have a life of your own, otherwise it is harder to have a life together.
and that is why you need to make sure you and your partner know how to fight. when people talk about the necessity for “good communication” all of the time, this is what they should mean: be willing to have the uncomfortable talks; be willing to have the fights; say the ugly things and get it all out in the open. on the other hand, refusing to compromise is just as much of a disaster, because you turn your partner into a competitor (“i win, you lose”). you and your partner only have so many fucks to give, make sure you both are saving them for the real things that matter. you don’t want to wake up 20 years later and be staring at a stranger because life broke the bonds you formed before the shitstorm started. talk to your partner about those things when it comes to dividing and conquering all the crap that has to get done in life. you’re sharing a life together, so you need to plan and account for each person’s needs and resources. you need to be the kind of person that you want your spouse to be. be patient and focus on the many aspects of her that still exist that caused you to fall in love in the first place. when kids arrive, it will be easy to fall into a frenzy of making them the only focus of your life…do not forget the love that produced them. go to counseling now before you need it so that you are both open to working on the relationship together. become a subscriber to the subtle art school and get all that extra cool stuff.
“whenever we’re working on something, we make it a point to ask the other person,’can i help?’ —david and cindy paul, married 22 years, las vegas, nv “how to share the household work is a hot button issue for many couples. “it’s a given that you should always look for ways to serve one another, but the trick is to do it without any expectations. —jason and myndie krause, married 12 years, tallahassee, fl “do whatever it takes to keep the lines of communication open. during an argument, you eventually reach a point where the best thing is just to walk away and cool off.
jenny and tyler ford, married 22 years, salt lake, ut “stress is often the source of contention, and it’s easy to blame your spouse or something they did. —joy and dave mckinnon, married 34 years, boise, id “being a good communicator doesn’t come naturally to many people; it’s a skill you have to hone. —katie and greg willden, married 22 years, denver, co “whatever is really important to the other should be your priority, too. it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you will have an amazing marriage.” —alicia and juan orozco, married 12 years, lynwood, ca “don’t assume they know that you appreciate what they do.
23 damn good pieces of marriage advice ; assume the best of one another stop stonewalling ; communicate respectfully always be flexible. we always talk about what’s bothering us with each other, not [with] anyone else! we have so many friends who are in marriages that are not working well, and “try to listen to one another. don’t go to bed angry. cooperate in taking care of family affairs. know how to say you’re wrong about something., funny advice for married couples, funny advice for married couples, marriage advice from old couples, best marriage advice quotes, secret to a happy marriage.
“love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy. family. fun. laughs. sex. if you don’t not just your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else. again, your husband or wife comes first. you married each other so that 1. “marry your best friend — the person you like to have random conversations with, who interests you, who makes you laugh a lot. marry the one, relationship advice for couples, marriage advice for the bride to be. 25 pieces of marriage advice from couples who’ve been together 25accept and allow. imagine life without your partner. crack jokes. don’t be so damn stubborn. choose your own adventure. do the work. you won’t always be on the same page. bite your tongue.
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