when you think you may be on the brink of divorce, you may still have a glimmer of hope that you can save your marriage. “you won’t be able to have the marriage you had in the beginning, but you can work on having a new marriage. your partner asks a question: “are the bowls clean?” and you lay into them—why are they always saying that you don’t do your part to care for the house? commit to stopping these assumptions, and if you think there’s a certain motivation behind a question or comment, at least ask.
for instance, when you fight in the future, promise not to swear at each other or resort to name-calling. these simple exercises help deliver a rush of pleasure and bonding hormones (like oxytocin) to bring back the intimacy that you may be lacking now, she explains. that starts with expressing gratitude and appreciation of the other person: gush over their new haircut, text them that you can’t wait to see them later—all the things that people tend to say to each other when they’re in the throes of romance. if that seems impossible to see now and you can’t or don’t want to have that conversation, consider couples counseling. it’s a wake-up.” no calling, no texting, and definitely no sex for the entire time—the point is to make your partner miss you.
but if you’re reading this, chances are yours has been down for a while now. when a marriage starts to falter, one thing’s for sure: each partner starts putting their personal needs over the needs of their relationship, says marriage and family therapist risa ganel, ms, lcmft. even if it feels like you and your partner have seriously drifted apart, there are ways to work through your problems and feel close again. here’s how to tell if your marriage can make it and the meaningful steps you can take to get back on track. it can also help to consider how people outside of your marriage would be affected by your divorce—including children, extended family, and even close friends. “many people fall into the trap of thinking that getting together with a different partner can make them happy, but problems tend to follow you if you don’t address them,” santan says. now it’s time for both of you to put in the hard work of sorting through your issues and renewing your connection.
placing all of the blame on your partner can be pretty tempting. when you can offer ways for how you’ll improve, it’s easier to ask the same of your partner. once you’re sure you understand exactly what they’re trying to say and where they’re coming from, then you can respond. it’s easy to get into the habit of bashing your spouse internally, even if you pretend everything’s fine on the outside. “once you see yourselves as two equals you’ll be on better footing to create change.” little gestures can go a long way, especially when the two of you are nearing the breaking point to begin with. hit a point where the two of you just can’t agree or aren’t sure how to move forward? if you and your partner need a third party to help you navigate, loop in someone who can be objective, like a marriage counselor. “i ask couples to commit to at least a full year, sometimes two.” sure, it might seem like forever.
i’m not even talking about sex here. “hold hands when you’re walking down the street. give each other a 20-second hug. kiss each other hello. we asked a panel of relationship experts to share their best advice on how to save a marriage. what they said might save yours. desperately want to know how to save your marriage, but you have no answers? here are 7 ways to save your marriage if your spouse wants out., .
for saving a marriage, it is essential to let them regularly know that you appreciate them and what they do by acknowledging things like helping how to save your marriage from divorce: 15 ways 1. try to relax 2. change what needs to be changed 3. focus on the positive in your mate 4. is your marriage worth saving? signs a marriage cannot be saved. signs a marriage can be saved. getting help., . here are ten tips to save your marriage:use kindness when discussing a conflict of interest. be gentle with your spouse. be aware of your own feelings. know when to take a break. scan for the positives. listen with empathy. stay away from criticism. give each other space.
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