if you are doing life with someone, you are going to feel lots of things over the course of time. that is what you commit to in marriage – through the good and the bad, you stand by each other, making a concentrated effort to walk forward in love. forever-lasting, successful marriages are committed to the everyday hard work of loving. and one of the most important things to realize in conflict is that sometimes there is no right or wrong. could you describe yourself as “elastic” in your marriage or do you always have to be right and get the last word? strive every day to be refined, molded, and shaped for the good of your marriage – to remain flexible.
if you are going to make an assumption, err on the side of grace and love. if you are assuming and expecting the best about your spouse, they are very likely to live up to that. if all you see in them is the bad, that’s probably going to be all you continue to see – partly because of their lack of motivation to change and partly because the negative is all you’re looking for anyway. the person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends. you pick up, answer, and talk in the most pleasant, kind voice, showering the person on the other end of the line with the best of you. your spouse is worthy of the decency, respect, and kindness you show to that church friend. it’s difficult, and it takes concerted effort and daily practice, but it is vitally important to the health of your marriage.
a woman named jane wells gave this marriage advice in 1886. it was published in chicken soup for the woman’s soul and submitted by carol abbs. this piece of advice speaks for itself. love is one of the most powerful emotions we have. don’t allow yourself to live a negative, hateful life. let love take control and be stronger than any other emotion in your life – your marriage will be that much stronger for it. there is wisdom in working with your spouse to come to an agreement. in order to satisfy your needs in a way that is healthy for both of you, it’s “better to bend a little than to break”. you both need to bend and sacrifice a little for your spouse in order for things to work out. no matter how hard it is to put your fears aside, focus on the good in the world.
by filling your life with good things and seeing the good in your spouse, you will live a much happier life and have a much happier marriage. people live up to the way you view them because as humans, we have a biased perception. don’t be so quick to judge others or your spouse. the last thing your spouse needs is for you to categorize him based on an incorrect opinion. the best way to solve this tendency is to always think highly of others, especially your spouse; love and respect them for who they are. you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who isn’t. your spouse is deserving of your love and the same courtesies and kindnesses you give to your friends. in fact, your spouse deserves more of your love than your friends – your spouse deserves all of the love in the world. let your love and friendship carry with you throughout the whole course of both of your lives. while traditions and definitions of marriage have changed throughout time, this advice still rings true today.
let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break. this marriage advice was written by an author named jane wells back in 1886. these nuggets of wisdom are timeless, and still so applicable today. a lot can change in 130 years but love is timeless. a woman named jane wells gave this marriage advice in 1886. it was published in chicken, advice for newlyweds, advice for newlyweds, is marriage worth it?.
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