while that’s usually a comment that my polyamorous friends get when they come out about their relationships (including, i’ll confess, from me), the truth is that it’s not like monogamy is a helluva lot easier. monogamy is what most of you are probably doing if you’re in a relationship or have done in past relationships if you’re not currently partnered. monogamy has been the foundation of millions of whispered promises between teenage lovers and hundreds of millions of wedding vows. it has been gaining mainstream attention recently as more and more poly folks come out of the closet and start talking about what their lives look like. “it refers to the practice of having more than one sexual or intimate relationship.” so, yeah, i’d imagine having multiple boyfriends and girlfriends could get a little tricky.
not cheating on the partner you’ve monogamously committed to, even though statistics show that the majority of us will cheat and be cheated on. i reached out to a couple of polyamorous communities (including polly’s, which is mainly based around her sex positive organization mission control) to see what lessons they think monogamous people could learn from polyamorous people in order to make relationshipping just a little bit easier. poly relationships, by definition, have more relationships engaged and so tend to have more things that come up. 3. following on #2, a greater understanding of relationships as individual interactions with their own set of dynamics that are not always neatly covered by a common term like “wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend” which brings about the need to create more individual-focused narratives and labels instead of societal short cuts. check out our new podcast, i want it that way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our soundcloud page.
in the process, he questioned the nature of commitment, intimacy, and relationships at large, and found that there isn’t just one way to be polyamorous. according to kent, most of the polyamorous people he interviewed for the book stayed in their relationships more for the romance and emotion than for the sex. it’s also about the relationships one has with their lovers’ lovers, and even their lovers’ lovers’ lovers, all of which contribute to a greater sense of belonging.
some people think, for example, that there isn’t much of a difference between meeting someone to watch a movie and meeting someone to have sex. but kent thinks this would be less of a problem if people realized that they had the option of consensual non-monogamy, that they can, in fact, acknowledge their different needs and urges, and negotiate a relationship with people who can accept those needs and urges, too. kent was careful to note that there are always exceptions, and sometimes opening up a relationship could work, but people should be wary of looking at cnm as an easy fix. “polysaturated,” he explained, is a term polyamorous people use to describe the feeling of having just about enough relationships to handle, with little room for any more.
36 polyamorous people share relationship advice 1. a more acute awareness of managing finite resources (time, attention) versus non-finite commitment and relationship advice from polyamorous people. intimacy is sometimes more about truth and honesty than it is about fidelity. instead, treat your relationships in a way that respects what they are. give each person a voice; you are having a relationship, not looking for, when to end a poly relationship, being the third in a polyamorous relationship, polyamory boundaries examples, polyamory boundaries examples, polyamory advice reddit.
i just had a breakup from my first polyamorous relationship and i feel like a failure. after about six months something imploded. it feels like the best thing to do is to be open and honest and up front. be upbeat and casual when you share this information. let people know that you’re open to dating r/polyadvice: new to polyamory and need help getting started? having some trouble with your long-standing polyamorous relationship, and want to hear …, polyamorous relationship types, mono/poly relationship, polyamorous relationship stories, one-sided polyamory, examples of successful polyamorous relationships, polyamorous relationship agreement, being a primary in a poly relationship, polyamory rules vs boundaries, is polyamory for me, questions to ask before entering a polyamorous relationship. is a polyamorous relationship right for you? 15 do’s, don’ts and things you should knowdo research into polyamory. do ask yourself if you can handle polyamory. do discuss polyamory with your partner (if you are in a relationship) do ask for what you need. do know your boundaries and limits.
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